Put a ring on it!

By Kristina Gesell

And here you are! Lucky you… in a relationship of your dream with Prince Charming! And all is going smoothly but one little bump. You start wondering if this is going somewhere beyond long-term relationship which looks and feels like marriage. However, for some reason the MAIN question still hasn’t arrived! I invite you to dig deep and understand the root of the problem.You should be worried by now if you recognize yourself in one of THESE.

He’s happy with the status quo. How long have you been together? Months? Years? Maybe you live with him, cook for him, take care of him, help with his dog and happily host his parents? In my coaching practice I even met couples who have kids without being married. Let me tell you… Playing a perfect wifey, you risk staying in this role only in your head. Why does he have to propose to you if he has everything he needs without any marital commitment? Nobody in their healthy state of mind would pay for something they can have for free.

Excuses, excuses. Are you still accepting all the “We are so happy together! Why do we need a document to prove it?“ or “I am not ready yet. It’s only been a year“. Oh yeah? If you are so happy why am I still not hitched? Remember, no man would risk losing a truly desirable woman. Also, if he hasn’t realized within a year that you are his future wife, I doubt he will make up his mind in 5 years. Beware of all those general excuses!

You’ve slipped into the friend zone. You are a wonderful and fun person. He might even love you as a … friend! Sorry though, you are not his “wife type”. It can be anything from your looks to your education, or from the way you talk to your religious beliefs. And there is nothing you can do to change it. What’s important though is that you are wasting your time while he is constantly searching for the next best thing. You don’t have to be somebody’s convenient girlfriend!

Commitment issues. He is unhappy with you, but he suffers without you. Torturing you with his ups and downs. There has to be drama about something. Forget it! He will never propose. He has a condition and needs professional help. You can not help him. Unfortunately.

Of course there are bunch of other reasons and criteria. Or sometimes there is a combo. But these four reasons are the most common red flags to watch out for. If you recognize yourself in these scenarios you must start devising your masterplan. Remember, keeping your values and dignity is a key to healthy loving relationship.

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